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Night Trips

by Jesse Kats

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1.
Epilogue 02:44
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Think of me, think of me fondly Cause I'm coming clean and I'm not who I thought I'd be Now you're in my past The penultimate chapter Of my graduating class I could not do better But now he's gone The story's done The writer dropped dead August 21 The more I write I realize This epilogue's revealing all my flaws And yet still I long for one more story (My life's a mess of consequence) The allegory (I once presented as my essence) Don't live up to what I should be But I'm out of ink I'm scraping papers just to say something But now he's gone The story's done The writer dropped dead August 21 The more I write I realize This epilogue's revealing all my flaws As life goes on we keep on finding things to process Learning that I'm wrong is just a sign of all my progress And I'm selfish, and I'm jealous, all the things that stain my pride But this life will just get more hellish if you ignore what's inside And yeah he's gone That story's done But I switched out my old author for a new one I move along I'm getting strong And every sequel all of my evils will lose their brawn I'm moving on I'm moving on Cause I switched out my old author for a new one I'm getting strong I'm getting strong And every sequel all of my evils will lose their brawn
2.
Froze Up 02:56
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Eight and one half months ago You told me you don't want to go Out no more I guess I'm a bore And eight and one half month have passed And I still don't have the guts to ask Where that came from I just standed there dumb Well I played the exchange countless times in my head And in my mind I've decided what I should have said But I froze up Your love Was all that could warm me up With it gone I just froze up Should've spoke up But I grabbed a mask and I carried on Well eight and one half months ago Could've kept us together for all I know If I took a stand Gave it one more chance Eight and one half months behind and I think It's too late now to write Now we're stuck in school Baby I'm your fool And I don't wanna be that ex Sending letters to you like paychecks But I'd rather tell you face to face If I didn't feel so damn ashamed And I played the exchange countless times in my head And in my mind I've decided what I should have said But I cower instead and pretend to my friends The best thing to happen to me hasn't ended No it hasn't ended And I do want Someone Your love Was already more than enough But you're done Call that a warning cause I'm not asking again But I froze up Your love Was all that could warm me up With it gone I just froze up Should've spoke up But I grabbed a mask and I carried on (x2)
3.
First Date Song 02:49
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The mystery of romance The puzzle pieces slow dance into place As I share with you these moments I'm scared, I've never told this story Before last year I was a different man Love was a distant fantasy, it was out of my hands Starting tonight you might be dear to me Today I reshape who I am, it's the start of something I've wrote a lot of cheesy love songs in my time I've wrote a lot of dumb, cheap love songs in my time I didn't know how it feels but I'm ready to find I'll write a love song today and it will truly be mine Headfirst into the feeling For better or worse I'm heeding every word Of songs I wrote with no meaning Pray that I am not misleading myself Despite my stolid look I'm struggling I never know the words to say or what I even mean It's been one night but Christ it's dear to me My heart is open and ready for the start of something I've wrote a lot of cheesy love songs in my time I've wrote a lot of dumb, cheap love songs in my time I didn't know how it feels but I'm ready to find I'll write a love song today and it will truly be mine There's up in my stride The words you gave me tonight mean something (x4)
4.
What it Means 03:30
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I hope you meant it, what you said Cause it took this long to get through my head The salty air, the messy hair And the sand over the floor I don't care, I just don't care anymore I look behind a grain of sand I think I'm finding I can't stand The thought of you, much less getting back together It's not up to you anymore cause I'd say no There's no us, there's no we It's just my friends and me And we're sticking it out One week at a time No ifs, ands, or buts Missing what there once was Cause I'm reminding myself what it means to be happy It's such a funny feeling This intervention took too long I'm done singing at you in my songs Walking the shore with a hot pink penny board I'm not yours anymore, I got played 'til you got bored There's no us, there's no we It's just my friends and me And we're sticking it out One week at a time No ifs, ands, or buts Missing what there once was Cause I'm reminding myself what it means to be happy It's such a funny feeling
5.
Euphoria 03:53
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I get the feeling I won't be in this place for long Something will get in the way and I'll just have to be strong And these muscles are weak and puny but I've got the will to last I'll knock this life out like a half-filled punching bag Things only get worse just before they get better My pedal to the floor, yeah I'm picking up pace I play my next chord, it takes me to a new place You can call it euphoria if that's what that means You can call it euphoria but it's so fleeting I'm on a winning streak but I just might jinx myself This world keeps me on my feet, but maybe it's just as well Cause my weekends have started seeping into the rest of my week If eight hours can grant me power I'll sleep My pedal to the floor, yeah I'm picking up pace I play my next chord, it takes me to a new place You can call it euphoria if that's what that means You can call it euphoria but it's so fleeting I broke my high score on my favorite game The girl I've got eyes for just started speaking to me You can call it euphoria if that's what that means You can call it euphoria but it's so fleeting Don't sell me out Cause I'm leaning on the edge of self doubt Tell me I'm right How I see life It's a dark tunnel laced with pinpricks of light I get the feeling I won't be in this place for long Something will get in the way, get in the way yeah My pedal to the floor, yeah I'm picking up pace I play my next chord, it takes me to a new place You can call it euphoria if that's what that means You can call it euphoria but it's so fleeting I broke my high score on my favorite game The girl I've got eyes for just started speaking to me You can call it euphoria if that's what that means You can call it euphoria but it's so fleeting
6.
Break Away 02:49
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I turn the shower dial again Break away from all my friends For an hour that never ends And I hate sex, and I hate politics Oh, tell me what is next I log on only to say something I'll regret It makes me feel like Keeping to myself is not so bad And I could've made this on my own It's not like you could ever keep me from feeling sad There's no payoff, no reward In this world we're all at war 'Til we're rotted to the core And sure as the planets are in motion Every word has hidden motives I start to speak but I remember I'll regret it It makes me feel like Keeping to myself is not so bad And I could've made this on my own It's not like you could ever keep me from feeling sad I understand now when you want to listen You want my words as ammunition Cause we are at war even if you're my friend You've got your goals and your own ends It makes me feel like Keeping to myself is not so bad Keeping to myself is not so bad And I could've made this on my own It's not like you could ever keep me from feeling sad Keeping to myself is not so bad And I could've made this on my own It's not like you could ever keep me from feeling sad I turn the shower dial again For an hour that never ends
7.
Under Orion 05:09
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Trace the veins along my wrist Race the daylight, when the night falls make a wish The joints on my fingers strain but they navigate a familiar terrain I'm struggling to match my train of thought And oh, your hands are on my hips I can feel it in my bones Can I handle this? As we're moving in so close Skin and bones Don't feel so hollow when Your hands hold me in the summer There's a droplet in your eye When water's running there's no reason to stay dry The woods out back of my house The perfect kind of place for us to slip out If grass blades don't bother you and just Feel the texture from the pavement to the wispy fronds Knowing way above the canopy Orion's looking on And oh, your hands are on my hips I can feel it in my bones Can I handle this? As we're moving in so close Skin and bones Don't feel so hollow when Your hands hold me in the summer There's a droplet in your eye When water's running there's no reason to stay dry Skin and bones Try not to hurt you but when you're so close We hit the concrete and the board's rolling away The heavy air sustains the current and we begin to sway Skin and bones I keep on chasing places to call home But we could stay here you and me alone And make me feel like more than skin and bones (x2) Skin and bones Don't feel so hollow when Your hands hold me in the summer There's a droplet in your eye When water's running there's no reason to stay dry Skin and bones Try not to hurt you but when you're so close We hit the concrete and the board's rolling away The heavy air sustains the current and we begin to sway
8.
Ursa Major 02:25
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9.
Mystery Stars 03:40
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Live fast, die young Be who the stories come from Relive the glories as an urban allegory Here lies a man who dreamed But wasn't what he seemed But my facade is what they'll etch into the rock on top of me A world away To burst or to fade And I'll tell you don't get close to me And I'll try to stay a mystery Cause I don't think you'd like what you see You can view me from a distance But I'll deter your persistence If you get too close you'll see why I'm ashamed So could you please just be a flower on my grave Eyes closed, grip strong A story passed down eons My consternation due to lack of constellations You lie awake like me I'm taking time to speak The lights are off and all my neighbors are asleep The world awaits A decision to make And I'll tell you don't get close to me And I'll try to stay a mystery Cause I don't think you'd like what you see You can view me from a distance But I'll deter your persistence If you get too close you'll see why I'm ashamed So could you please just be a flower on my grave And I don't want anyone to feel that way God only knows what's really right for me We could be a shooting star, so fleeting but it's who we are Doesn't mean that I don't miss you when we're apart And I'll let you know you're close to m And I'll tell you all my mysteries Cause I don't think you'll mind what you see You can still be at a distance Even if I miss your kisses It's too late and there's no reason to be ashamed (x2) And I will let you in, I can keep you to my grave You'll be a flower in my mind all the same
10.
Keep Around 03:17
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I live for the simple things The pleasure your company brings And even when we're a world apart You can drop my chest through my beating heart The clock keeps ticking in the background I wanna be lost in your lap now I'm thinking maybe you should come back now But I feel great I send another written note Write you a song and send the video Any way that I can let you know I'm keeping you around, keeping you around I'll multiply the highs and raise the lows Cause you and I are an unstoppable force Any way that I can let you know I'm keeping you around, keeping you around As long as I can Give me a minute to recollect my thoughts I threw them all against the bathroom wall And the water doesn't clear my head It fills my mind with thoughts instead Don't save me Cause I'm drowning But I'm drowning in you I send another written note Write you a song and send the video Any way that I can let you know I'm keeping you around, keeping you around I'll multiply the highs and raise the lows Cause you and I are an unstoppable force Any way that I can let you know I'm keeping you around, keeping you around As long as I can (x2)

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I'd like to dedicate this album to Frontier High School, Coldfront, and someone very special.

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released June 15, 2018

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Jesse Kats Arlington, Texas

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